The beginning

I woke up this morning and stood on the scales and saw a whopping 212 pounds. Holy cow, had I really become that big. To me that was HUGE! To others it may be way smaller but other than when I was 9 months pregnant with my 10 pound 9 ounce baby I never weighed on 200 pounds ever.

I was so depressed. How had I become so large? What kind of example was I setting for my children? What was I doing to my body? No wonder my legs hurt, and hip hurts, and back catches. Think of all this weight it’s trying to tote around.

So what was my solution?

Well, the funny thing about me waking up and seeing that on the scales on July 12, 2012, was that over a year ago, I made the choice to join Visalus Science. I at one time was a huge networker, made 30 – 40,000 a month in a direct marketing travel business and was very successful. I joined Visalus when I did because I knew I was about to be single. You see in 2011 my husband and I decided it would be best to separate and get a divorce. So that meant me, single, mom of 4 small children. I needed money. Visalus seemed to be the answer. Plus I figured what better way to get back at my soon to be ex husband than to lose weight and look fabulous. So I borrowed $500 from my daddy and joined.

What was the point? That was over a year ago when I started typing this journal. I had not lost a pound, actually gained weight. I had not made but a few dollars, and that was luck. I kept seeing all these people who earned a BMW in 2 weeks, 1 month, or less. I kept seeing these testimonies; this person just lost 20 pounds in 3 weeks, and this man lost 60 in his 90 days. I went from a 12 to a 6 in 90 days. I would see the pictures and be so jealous. Why couldn’t I do that?

So day after day, week by week, month after month I tried. I would wake up, drink a shake. Loved them. Even for my picky self, they tasted awesome. I would walk; I would do the Beachbody cd’s. I would stop after day 2 or 3. Then I would try again a few weeks later. But the only thing I was doing was gaining weight. Want to know why? The day or two before I would start my diet, I would tell myself it was ok to eat everything I knew I would be missing out on. Candy bars, Mexican food, hamburgers, French fries, ice cream, etc…. So I would eat everything in site the day or two before my diet would start. And then when I would break it, I would do the same thing. It became an unending cycle.

I would look in the mirror and see this beautiful woman and this nasty body. I kept thinking if I could only get them to match, how much better my life would be. I know you’re thinking well at least you did not think all of you was ugly. And I didn’t. I was thankful that God made me pretty, I just needed God’s help to be pretty below my face and be most importantly healthy.

You would think that having an inground pool in your back yard and wanting to buy pretty bathing suits….bikinis would be motivation for someone like me. But nope. You would think having 4 children watch you and see what crap goes in your mouth would be motivation….no again. You would think going to a divorce, being single again would be motivation for me….but once again no. I had no motivation. I wanted to lose weight so bad, but I did not want to make the changes needed to do it. I wanted it to fall off, while I still ate chocolate covered cherries everyday. I wanted my skin to tighten up while I sat on the couch watching TV everyday.

Until it hit me. One day it just came crashing down on top of me. That day was July 12, 2012. If I did not change, the scales would say far more than 211 they would keep going up. I would get to the point, I hated all of me, not just my body, I would never find a new man, and life would get worse and worse.

I also started thinking about what kind of new man I wanted, and what I wanted was a man with a nice body. Now hello, wake up call. What kind of woman does a man like that want? Well, it sure isn’t a 5’4” over 200 pound woman with 4 kids.

So for me, my kids, the new man God has not sent me yet, I decided it was time to get it together and see if this Visalus thing really works. Works for others, why not me?

So the weekend came, I ate everything in site again. Monday came, I was going to begin Visalus, and I failed. I ate everything in site. I really did. I remember trying to be healthy for dinner, and cooking baked pork chops, rice, and broccoli, oh and mac and cheese but that was for the kids. (Yeah right)

The kids ate well, I ate really well, but they did not clean their plates. So as I began to clear the table, I helped finish their food. What the heck was wrong with me? I was like a homeless woman that had not eaten in weeks. Then I sat down to watch one of my favorite reality shows, the Bachorlorette, and ate a bowl of lucky charms, and then if that was not enough for some reason about 11 pm I was hungry and ate a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. I would have rather have ice cream, or a big Hershey bar but I was fresh out.

I know what your thinking, well the heck did you put it? I have no idea, but I was still hungry so I decided to go to bed.

So that sums us up to where we are today.

It’s 8:19 am on Tuesday, July, 17, 2012. I am sitting on my computer writing this journal of my new challenge with Visalus and how I do. I thought maybe if I started this blog it would make me have accountability or if nothing else if I fail, it would show the world not just myself.

I am sitting here drinking a shake. It’s really good. I made an almond joy shake.

All I did was add 1 tbsp of Almond Joy Creamer to my Almond Milk and it makes for the best shake.

Now what? Well now I need to get through my day and night, and do it.